The Different Cries of the Ego
We’ve all heard that parents develop a radar to recognize the different cries from their kids. It’s true. After sometime you notice the subtle difference between the cries that signify hunger, sleep, boredom, frustration, excitement, joy, anger, helplessness… and I’m sure many more. These are the ones I can currently identify with our little one!
Those cries are actually requests for attention although it certainly doesn’t feel like it! It comes out as a demand that has to be met right away. We recognize that, tolerate it and sometimes can even laugh at it because they are still young and don’t have the skills yet to communicate it more effectively.
It got me reflecting. The ego does the EXACT same thing. It also cries for our attention and also demands that we fulfuill its needs. Whether that be the need to be seen or feel secure, connected, valuable, understood, respected, harmonious, knowledgeable...there’s just so many identities we want recognition for and when they are not acknowledged, that’s when the ego sounds the alarm.
“DO SOMETHING NOW!” It compels us. Actually, I’m downplaying it. The way I experience it is I have no choice but to give in to its insistence.
That’s the problem. It feels like I have no choice when I do. I have a choice in how to respond to its cries.
If I can start to identify those different cries (just like I do with my daughter), I can also start to figure out how to address them in appropriate, healthy and intentional ways. As opposed to reacting to them without thinking and feeling everything is urgent, important and needs to be addressed right away!
When my daughter is bored, if I sit down to play with her for a few minutes, I often notice that she is satisfied and then can play by herself for a little time afterwards. If I choose to ignore the need, the crying gets louder, my tendency to react gets triggered and the situation becomes frustrating.
Dealing with the ego is similar. Instead of simply responding to the cry, if I can identify the need behind the cry of the ego, I have greater insight as to what’s the best way to respond. Then, with intentionality, I can choose how and when to address it.
And so I leave you with this question:
What is one consistent cry of the ego that you experience and what need is it pointing to?